


Tellarite Pox

by lha



Series: Gabriel Lorca: Child-whisperer [7]
Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Children, Fluff and Angst, Food, Gen, Guilt, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sick Character, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-03
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-03-26 13:55:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13859142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lha/pseuds/lha
Summary: Gabriel falls foul of the fact that even in the 23rd century, children are germ factories who get you sick.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> There will be multiple chapters to this installment and the fluff will come. Promise.

Gabriel pressed a hand beneath his sternum and shifted in his office chair in an attempt to ease his discomfort. He’d felt off since this morning, but Katrina had obviously gotten to his new aid and she was determined that he wasn’t to get away with not having lunch. He’d made a valiant attempt at the soup and sandwich she had provided but it wasn’t sitting well at all. Breathing carefully, he felt a cold sweat break out beneath his uniform and pushing himself up using a hand on the surface of his desk, he stumbled across to his private washroom. Falling to his knees, he quickly lost what he’d managed to force down his throat and then kept on vomiting. His stomach felt like it was trying to work it’s way up and out of his mouth and when finally it seemed to pass he was left panting and shaking like a leaf. Activating the flush, he sat there for a moment, waiting to see if it was safe for him move. His stomach was still clenching and churning but, he thought after a moment, that the worst was past. Standing up slowly he rinsed his mouth out with a little water, and feeling moderately confident that it was the right decision, made his way back to his desk. 

Several hours and urgent trips back to the bathroom later, Gabriel’s fragile concentration was broken by a knock on his office door.

“Yes Jane?” he said, while focussing on looking like he was absorbed in the reports in front of him.

“I’m afraid your aid will have gone home at eighteen-hundred hours Admiral Lorca,” came a familiar voice. He checked the chronometre, genuinely surprised it had been that long since he’d last looked and then back to the pile of incomplete work on his desk. 

“So she would have. When did you get back Commander Stamets?” he asked, trying to muster a smile.

“A couple of hours ago, I’m about to head home but Hugh asked me to run an errand first.” 

“Oh?” Gabriel asked, frowning as his stomach made an audible gurgling noise. “Sorry,” he said with a vague gesture, “I think I must have eaten something that disagrees with me.” Paul raised a suspicious eyebrow.

“Remember last week, when you very kindly took my daughters out and ran them ragged so that Hugh could get some peace for the first time the three weeks since I went off world?”

“Yes,” Gabriel said with mounting concern.

“Turns out that they had Tellarite Pox.”

“Where on earth did they pick that up?”

“It’s been doing the rounds at Daisy’s school,” Paul said.

“Does this mean you need somewhere to stay?” he asked with a frown, it would be a shame if he couldn’t get home to his family after he’d been away and with the best will in the world the last thing he currently felt like doing was playing host. As if on queue, his stomach twisted and he had to fight the urge to moan. 

“No, I’ve been to medical and gotten my inoculation and Hugh was already immunised so we’re ok. You on the other hand,” he said with a pointed look. 

“Oh,” Gabriel managed before another, lower, spasm hit. “I… Excuse me…” he mumbled, gesturing towards the en suite and making a hasty retreat making sure to close and lock the door behind him. He fumbled with the fastening of his trousers and very nearly didn’t manage to avoid another unfathomable embarrassment. 

When he managed to leave the toilet, he was almost surprised to see Paul still sitting in front of his desk. He stood when Gabriel opened the door, and he stepped through it and closed it firmly on the unpleasantness he was leaving behind before moving back to lean casually against the side of his desk. 

“Will you be alright to transport? Or do you need something first?” 

“I’ll stay here a while I think, but I can make it home under my own steam. You should get back to the girls.”

“If you think that I’m about to leave you here, or that Hugh would let me through the front door if I did, then you obviously haven’t met my husband. Besides you’re now a biological health risk and either you go into quarantine at medical, or you come back to ours. They’re already contacting anyone you’ve spent any significant time with in the last three days so that they can be vaccinated.”

“I’m sure I’ll be ok at home.”

“Not an option Gabriel,” Paul said suddenly sounding firm. “I think we both know which is the lesser of two evils don’t we? So just agree please.”

“I don’t want to be an inconvenience,” he managed before suddenly he started gagging. He bent double, clamping a hand over his mouth but in a small mercy there was absolutely nothing left to come up. It hurt though and to his eternal embarrassment he could feel tears beginning to seep from beneath his eyelids. Then there was an arm around his back, propping him up against the desk as Paul lent over to active the comm unit on the desk.

“This is Commander Stamets, I have pre-approval for a medical transport for two, from my current location to my home address.”

“Acknowledged, transporter lock in place. On your mark, Commander Stamets,” came the disembodied voice.  
“Mark.” Gabriel tried to breath through the sensation but his insides seemed increasingly keen to be outside and his head was spinning. He knew they’d materialised but his vision hadn’t cleared and suddenly everything sounded terribly far away.

“Cap’in?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still no children but there is fluff!

Gabriel woke to the sound of a hypospray and had the wrist of the administering hand in his grasp before his eyes opened.

“It’s me Gabriel, it’s Hugh. You’re in the spare room at our house and you’re here because our children infected you.” He blinked as he processed this and then with a conscious effort, released his fingers and looked up at Hugh who was perched on the edge of the bed.

“Sorry,” he said.

“No harm done. I wouldn’t have snuck up on you except that you’ve been dead to the world for the last twelve hours.” 

“I shouldn’t be here,” Gabriel said with a frown. “I could hurt someone.”

“At the moment, I think you’d struggle to hurt a fly so let’s not worry too much about that shall we?” 

“The girls though, you should be…”

“They’re both fine. There was a rather unpleasant few hours where the refresher was struggling to keep up with the laundry I’d changed their beds so often, but they’re both watching old films downstairs with Paul now and probably trying to convince him to feed them ice-cream.” Gabriel’s frown deepened. His head was pounding, even lying down the room seemed to be spinning and he was fairly sure he was going to be sick again in the near future now that the idea of ice-cream had… 

“Oh,” Hugh said having obviously spotted the signs and with the confidence of experience grabbed Gabriel’s far hip and rolled him onto his side to lean against him. “Easy,” he said quietly a gentle hand rubbing between his shoulder blades as Gabriel’s head hung over the edge of the mattress and above a strategically placed bucket.

It seemed to go on forever, wave after wave rocking Gabriel’s frame but Hugh’s calm presence anchored him through it all. And then the cramping moved lower and he became acutely aware of different problem. Using a shaking arm he tried to push himself up, the toilet couldn’t be more than a few meters away. He just had to… but it was a lost battle before he’d even started.

“Gabriel? Gabriel?” Hugh’s tone was quiet but firm. “It’s ok, don’t worry. Don’t… you’re ill and it’s only an accident…” His humiliation was complete though and Gabriel truly wanted nothing more in the world than to disappear into the soiled mattress. Coughing on a string of something that had come from either his mouth or his nose, he cried.

When he came back to himself, he was still curled on the edge of the bed and the comforting hand was still firmly on his back.

“Here,” Hugh said, “let’s wipe your face.” The father and doctor deftly dried his eyes and wiped away the residual gunk from his nose and mouth. “Would you like to rinse your mouth? Or I’ve got some mints?”

“Mint. Please,” he said thickly. He tried to move an arm to take it but he felt like all his limbs were made of porridge. Hugh didn’t seem surprised by this and placed it directly between his lips. 

“I’m going to go get some things so that we can get you comfortable,” he said, “and then we’ll talk but please Gabriel,” he leant down and placed a chaste kiss on his forehead, “try not to worry.” 

Hugh wasn’t gone long and when he returned was so matter of fact about what had happened and what he was going to do that despite every instinct Gabriel found himself accepting it. He allowed himself to be moved, helping where he could though his body felt like it belonged to someone else. It dawned on him, that the way he was dressed, the way that the bed was made, it was all designed to make this process easier. That the handheld sonic cleaner Hugh had used to cleanse his skin wasn’t something that even a Starfleet doctor would normally have lying around their home. 

“So,” Hugh said, sitting back down on the edge of the freshly remade bed, “this is what Tellarite Pox is like. It’s awful, particularly in adults and it doesn’t respond well to the medication that helps alleviate the symptoms in humans.”

“Typical,” Gabriel said, trying for levity.

“You’re going to feel like this for several days and it’ll be longer till you’re well again. I understand entirely if you’d rather go to medical and have someone else look after you and we can make that happen in minutes. But,” he paused looking at him seriously, “you are more than welcome to stay and I will do everything in my power to keep you comfortable. You won’t have to see anyone else until you’re ready and I thought you might find this easier if you were somewhere familiar.”

“I… you... “ Gabriel tried, choking up and shaking his head, “sorry.”

“It was my children who gave this to you, who you were looking after as a favour for me. There is nothing for you to be sorry about.” Gabriel couldn’t form the words so he just nodded in aquecence. “Well then, why don’t you get some sleep? You’re wearing a monitor so I’ll know if anything happens, and here next to the light controls there’s a bell right there.” 

“Thank you,” Gabriel managed eventually.

“You’re welcome. Now try to rest and I’ll be back later.”


	3. Chapter 3

As Hugh had predicted, the first few days had been utterly vile.  Gabriel slept for long stretches but even when he was awake he could barely lift his head from the pillow.  His body seemed to have become so used to throwing up that the roll to the side now seemed to happen before he realised he was going to be sick.  Thankfully the other was less common and less dramatic for the most part.  

They fell into a routine, that Gabriel would wake up and shortly thereafter Hugh would appear and help him wet his mouth, take some readings and ply him with what nutrients could be delivered via hypospray.  When he woke this time however, it was from a long familiar nightmare rooted far enough in reality that his response was so ingrained he was out of bed before he was awake.  

_He_ was here, he was going to capture him and then he would kill everyone Gabriel cared about whether they’d been on the Buran, or not.  _He_ was here somewhere and Gabriel needed to find him, needed to search the room, his flat, find him and then, then everyone would be safe.  

Only his body, prone for so long, wouldn’t cooperate.  He was on the floor before he’d even gotten his back into the corner, and despite his every best effort he couldn’t get up again.  He managed to get his knees under him but his arms wouldn’t support him.  _He_ was somewhere, and as reality began to intrude Gabriel knew without a doubt that he would kill everyone in this house and all because he’d agreed to stay and it was his fault and he had to protect them.  Gabriel tried to get up again and again, but his limbs simply would not cooperate.

“Captain?”  Daisy’s quiet enquiry rushed like cold water through his veins.  

“No…” he said, as she padded across the floor and knelt down beside him.  

“It’s ok,” she said, reaching out to touch his shoulder.  He flinched trying to draw away knowing in his very soul that the closer she was, the greater the danger.

“No, no it's not.  It's not safe…” he had to get her to realise.

“It is,” she said firmly, “I saw Papa put the alarm on.  No one can get in and and Daddy and Papa are here to look after us.” 

“No…”  he tried to push himself up again.

“Gabriel?”  Hugh turned the light up from half to full as he came through the door.  “Thank you Daisy, why don't you go back through to bed?”

“No, I'm staying.”

“Daisy,” her father said with a note of warning.  Gabriel wanted to say she could stay, not sure now whether it was because that way they could protect her, or because there was something reassuring about the fact that she was still kneeling next to him, her hand resting on his shoulder.  “Would you go and fetch Papa for me?”  her father asked, leaning over and kissing the crown of her head.   Gabriel felt her hand squeeze his shoulder before she stood up and did as she had been asked.  

Whether it was the light, the arrival of someone else who was calm and confident or just because he was now awake enough to process what had happened, Gabriel’s panic seemed to have receded back into a pervasive anxiety.  

“No, stay there a minute,” Hugh said as Gabriel tried again to pull himself up, “we’ll get you back into bed in a second but I don’t want to do yourself an injury.”  Paul arrived only a few minutes later, dressed like everyone else in his pyjamas but looking wide awake.  “Can you give us a hand please?” Hugh asked.  “That’s it, nice and slowly.”  The two of them gently helped him to sit upright and lean against the dressing table.  He was shivering now, cold sweat chilling his skin beneath his sleepwear.  Paul straightened out the bedding while Hugh ran his scanner over Gabriel and he tried to control his still racing heart.  

“Ready?”  Paul asked once he was done.

“I think so,” Hugh replied.  “Gabe?”  He nodded softly, managing to get his feet underneath him and stay upright with their support and this much more sedate change in altitude.  “That’s it.”  

“S...Sorry,” he managed after a couple of attempts.

“We don’t apologise for nightmares in this house,”  Hugh said frankly as the three of them walked slowly back to the bed.  

“But I…  I could have…”  Gabriel said sitting down and leaning against the headboard.  “I’ll go just as soon as...”

“We also absolutely don’t make decisions in the middle of the night after them,” Paul interrupted.

“I’m going to make sure Daisy isn’t reading under the covers.  I’ll bring some peppermint tea up in a bit,” Hugh said once Gabriel was settled, pulling the covers up to his chest.  Paul sat down on the chair next to the bed and watched him closely for a minute.  

“You’re not the only one who has nightmares Gabriel,” he said after a moment, “I… It hasn’t happened in a while but sometimes… it’s like I’m back then, back when Hugh was dead.  And then I wake up and he’s there and I’m utterly convinced that it’s not really him.  I had my hands round his throat before I’d woken up properly the last time and the girls were just next door.”

“You would never put any of them in danger,” Gabriel said vehemently.

“And neither would you.”

“But…”

“But nothing, Gabe.  You are no less worthy of a little compassion than anyone else.  Now, enough of that,” he said with an air of finality.  “Have you ever read any Tolkien?”  

“I…” Gabriel said, thrown by the change in topic.

“You’re not going to go back to sleep tonight are you?”  Gabriel could almost feel himself blush at being so easily read.  “Well then, this is what works for me.  We’ll start with The Hobbit.”

And with that, Paul settled back into the chair, propped his cross ankles on the mattress, snagged a PADD from the dressing table and began to read aloud;

_“In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.”_


	4. Chapter 4

“Cap’in,” Jess asked, settling down next to him at the top of the stairs, “why are you sitting here?” This was quite a sensible question really and Gabriel wasn’t sure how best to answer it. To tell the six year old that having successfully navigated the rigours of getting out of bed and putting something resembling actual clothes on, he had attempted to complete the feat of walking downstairs only to get so lightheaded it had been a case of sit down or fall down, seemed unnecessarily honest.

“Just waiting for you.”

“Really?” she asked, eyeing him suspiciously. 

“Absolutely. Did you sleep well?”

“Yes but that was ages ago!” she declared dramatically. “I’ve been up for hours and I’ve had breakfast and Daddy is taking me to school in a minute. How did Spot sleep?”

“Soundly, thank you,” he replied automatically. The well loved toy had appeared on his pillow one night and had stayed there since. “It was good of him to stay.” Jess shrugged, but her pleasure was poorly covered.

“Jess, are you ready?” Hugh called from downstairs. “Daisy, put down the PADD and put your shoes on. What are you two up to?” he asked turning to look up the steps. 

“Just talking Daddy,” Jess said standing up and trotting down the stairs and past him.

“You ok?” Hugh asked, still looking up at Gabriel.

“Yes, I uh… may have overestimated my energy reserves but I’ll be fine.”

“Did you eat the toast?” the Doctor asked bounding up the stairs and making Gabriel feel even more decrepit in comparison. “You’re white as a sheet again.”

“I… attempted it.”

“We need to get some actual food into you, before you’re going to manage to be much more active. You’ve run through all your reserves.”

“I know… I just…” Gabriel had tried, he really had, but he had never felt less hungry and anything he put in his stomach seemed to sit there like lead. “I think I might leave the excitement of downstairs for a little while though.” He stood slowly but under his own steam, using the banister for leverage. He was just so unreasonably tired given what little he’d managed to achieve this morning. 

“Little victories, Gabe,” Hugh said sincerely, “you’re up and dressed. Try and eat some more of that toast and I’ll see you when I get back from dropping these two pests off.”

“I’m not a pest!” Jess called from the bottom of the stairs. “Bye Cap’in!”

“See you Captain!” Daisy called as well as the three of the filed out of the door leaving Gabriel alone for what felt like the first time in far too long. 

The room he’d spent most of the last week in was now papered in drawings made for him by the girls, there were various PADDs stacked on the bedside table (though none that would allow him to access anything official much to his chagrin) and Spot the cuddly dog. He contemplated the easy recliner but his eyes were so heavy that he was almost certain that he was going to sleep and so ended up lying on top of the bed covers. He barely managed a paragraph from the latest Interplanetary Journal of Strategy before the PADD slipped from his hand and he was fast asleep.

Gabriel could feel the sun shining through the window before he’d opened his eyes and knew exactly where he was. He stretched, relashing the pop of tight muscles if not the twinge his stomach made in protest.

“He lives!” a familiar but unexpected voice said and he peeled open his eyes to find Katrina sitting in the seat next to the bed.

“Excuse the lack of protocol,” he said not entirely seriously, pushing himself up into a slightly more dignified sitting position. 

“Bugger protocol,” she said with an easy getsure. “It’s good to see you Gabriel,” she added reaching out to grip his knee, “even if I have to question the quality of the catering provisions at your latest posting.” He knew what she meant, and pulled selfconsioulsy at the oversized Academy sweatshirt he’d put on that morning. He’d never really regained the weight and muscle tone he’d lost when he’d been held prisoner for all those months but catching sight of himself when Hugh had helped him to have a bath the day before had been a shock even to him.

“Little less of me than usual maybe,” he admitted.

“Well that can be fixed. I’ve brought a late lunch,” she said and Gabriel looked at the chronometer surprised to find he’d slept for the best part of six hours. “It’s what you’re body needs,” she said obviously reading his mind, “and you need to listen Gabriel. I know you’re a huge fan of powering through, but that’s not going to work this time. “ 

“Is that ramen?” he asked, trying to change the subject. 

“It is,” she said with a smile, “from that little place by my old apartment that you like so much.” For the first time in what felt like forever, Gabriel’s mouth watered in anticipation.

“You’re a treat,” he said seriously.

“Well don’t get used to this sort of service but I thought it might tempt you.” Gabriel started tentatively, but the warmth and the ginger seemed to land well in his delicate stomach.

Despite several valiant attempts, Katrina wouldn’t be drawn on the matter of Starfleet and while he was increasingly aware of the work that would be piling up on his desk it was a pleasant change to talk to his old friend about things other than troop movements, potential allies and their fellow admirals. He didn’t finish the ramen, but he made a better dent in it than anything else so far and was happy that Katrina stored what was left back in the stasis unit she’d used to transport it. A discussion of their next potential offworld trek was interrupted by the sound of the door and excited voices,

“Daddy? Cap’in? Papa stopped so we could get ice-cream for everybody!”

“Is that right?” Hugh’s skeptical voice drifted up from downstairs.

“Yeah! But I might have to help eat Cap’in’s for him.”

“Or we could keep it till he feels better,” said Daisy calmly, “that’s what Papa said.”

“I’ll go check if he wants it,” Jess declared followed by the sound of small feet running up the stairs. 

“Oh!” she stopped at the door. 

“Hello Jess,” Katrina said with a rye smile. “How are you?”

“Good! I have ice-cream,” she held up the two pots she was clutching. “This one is for you Cap’in, if you would like it. But we don’t have one for Admiral Cornwell.” 

“How about Admiral Cornwell eats my one for just now?” Gabriel suggested, confident that he was not going to push the boat out that far. 

“Is your tummy still funny?” she asked, trying to climb up onto the bed with her hands full of ice-cream. 

“How about I take these,” Katrina said, swooping in to take the tubs and once Jess had crawled up to sit next to Gabriel handed back the requested treat.

“Thank you very much,” Katrina said, taking a gentle spoonful.

“What was the ice-cream worthy occasion?” Gabriel asked.

“Daisy got a star for her report!” Jess said proudly. 

“That is certainly worth celebrating,” Katrina said.

“What was it on?” Gabriel asked, carefully righting the dangerously tilted ice-cream tub. 

“I don’t remember. DAISY!” she yelled making Gabriel start, “WHAT WAS YOUR PAPER ON?”

“Jessica Stamets-Culber,” Hugh said arriving in the doorway, “we absolutely do not yell.”

“You half deafened me,” said Paul coming up behind his husband with Daisy just behind, “and I was still on the stairs.”

“If you want to ask your sister a question what should you do?” Hugh asked, sitting on the bottom of the bed.

“Go and find her,” Jess replied her face falling. “Sorry Daddy, Sorry Papa.” 

“Don’t apologise to us, say sorry to Gabriel for yelling in his ear.”

“Sorry Cap’in,” she said, abandoning her half empty ice-cream on his leg so that she could throw her arms around him in a hug.

“Pardon?” was all Gabriel said and Paul broke out into peals of laughter.


	5. Chapter 5

Gabriel knelt on the cool tile floor of the bathroom breathing shallowly through his clenched jaw and trying desperately not to throw up. He needed to get up, go back to the living room before anyone noticed he'd been away from the film viewing for an abnormally long time. This was just silly, he'd been feeling much better; it was three days since Katrina had been to visit, and they (Gabriel) had been talking about his going home in a few days even if he wasn't ready to be cleared to return to duty.

And then this evening, when they'd all been sitting in the living room watching a film the girls had chosen, he'd become increasingly, unpleasantly warm. At first he'd thought that perhaps it was simply the close proximity of Dasiy and Jess who had both curled up next to and on top of him while their fathers sat on the other sofa, but then the odd concurrent shivery feeling had begun and his stomach had started to churn.

He’d made a quiet, unhurried excuse and pried himself himself out of the soft seat, encouraging them not to pause the film when Paul had asked and retreated to the nearest toilet. He wasn't sure how long ago that had been but he was certain that he was running out of time. He just needed to get back up and go back. He would be fine he wasn't going to be sick. It was just that he shouldn't have eaten so much at dinner. Another wave of nausea had him kneeling up, leaning over the bowl wondering if he might feel better if he just expelled the contents of his stomach though. A gentle knock on the door made him start;

“Gabriel? Can I get you anything?” Hugh’s voice from outside was obviously concerned.

“No…” he managed between careful pants.

“Can I come in?” Hugh asked but Gabriel was too busy focusing on not throwing up to reply. His lack of protest was obviously taken as consent as shortly after the doctor opened the door and stepped inside. As the immediate urge passed, Gabriel sat back on his lower legs and let his forehead fall forward to rest on his folded arm on the rim on the toilet.

“I haven't been sick,” he said quietly to the floor.

“Ok,” said Hugh, his cool hand appearing on the back of Gabriel’s neck, “you are burning up though and…” The hem of his jumper and t-shirt were lifted and Gabriel shivered when the cold air hit his back, “you’ve got a beautiful purple rash blooming. I’m sorry, I was hoping you were going to get away without this particular set of symptoms.” Gabriel said nothing in response but knelt back up so that his head was suitably placed when he started throwing up. 

Once again Hugh sat in quiet support next to him as he retched miserably and pleaded silently with whoever might be listening that this would end. He was gripping the rim of the bowl with white knuckles when the sounds from outside the bathroom broke through the fog in his brain.

“Shhh girls,” Paul chided the excited children as they entered the hall outside, “Gabriel’s not feeling very well.”

“Is Daddy looking after him?” Jess asked. 

“Of course he is,” Daisy said seriously, “Papa why is he so much more sick than we were?” 

“Well some illnesses affect people differently for lots of reasons. This one is usually worse for adults but sometimes it’s just bad luck.”

“Sophie’s Mummy is still away at medical and she got sick before I did,” Jess said with an alien melancholy.

“Well aren’t we lucky that we’ve got Daddy to look after us all?” Paul’s voice faded as their feet moved away. What felt like an unreasonably cold cloth on the back of his neck made Gabriel start.

“I’m guessing that you’re hovering somewhere around the high 39 degrees, but I’m going to go and get my scanner so that we can have a better idea. The good news is that I should be able to give you something that will bring it down and that should help you feel better.”

“Thank you,” Gabriel managed, sliding off his knees to lean up against the cool tile of the wall. 

In the few minutes that he was alone, Gabriel came to the realisation that he simply couldn’t let this become a full blown relapse. Apart from his own feeling that he just couldn't bare it, it just wouldn't be fair on any of them. He’d disturbed their household, their routine far too much already. Hugh would give him something to bring down his temperature and that would make him feel better. It would. And if it didn't, well that was a different challenge. 

The medication did in fact lower his temperature, if not back to normal at least far enough that Hugh seemed satisfied. Gabriel quietly let him take the lead and agreed that yes he felt better which was at least partially true. He allowed himself to be bundled back up stairs and into bed and falling asleep, the kernel of hope still glowing in his chest.

By the time the following morning arrived, the hope was long gone. Gabriel had been woken in the small hours; covers thrown to the floor, drenched in sweat and very aware that he was going to be sick. He had made it to the en suite, careful to close the door quietly before he leant over the toilet and spent the next two hours in utter misery. At some stage he had fallen back asleep curled on the floor, not confident enough to make it any further. Waking up curled against the cool floor he sat up carefully and hesitantly stood. It was morning but early enough the rest of the house wasn’t yet up, and this seemed like a sign. When he’d been upright for several minutes and his stomach hadn’t revolted, his confident improved and he managed to brush his teeth. That done, he decided that he could risk a cool shower and by the time there was a knock on his bedroom door he was dressed and ready to face the day. 

“Good morning,” Hugh said, seeming slightly surprised to see him up and about.

“Morning,” he replied, trying to hit the right note of early morning enthusiasm. 

“How are you feeling?” the doctor asked, with a note of skepticism. 

“Ok I think,” Gabriel answered at least partly honestly. This wasn’t about lying, it was just about emphasising certain facts; while he was still nauseous, he didn’t feel he was in immediate danger of being sick. He knew that his temperature was still elevated but when Hugh put his hand on Gabriel’s forehead and then produced the familiar scanner, he didn’t mention that he’d spent most of the night with his skin flush against cold tiles and recently stepped out of a cold shower.

“Well your fever hasn’t climbed back up too much,” he said. “How’s the rash?”

“Much the same.” Again, this wasn’t strictly untrue, it had been uncomfortable for hours now, the fabric of his undershirt seeming to chafe against the raised welts. 

“Hmmm,” Hugh said, “mind if I take a look?”

“If you insist,” he said with only a token protest knowing he wouldn’t get away with any more. This was going to be an exercise in finding the correct level of cooperation, so he pulled off his t-shirt and allowed himself to be more thoroughly examined.

“It’s still spreading. It’s not sore or itchy?” 

“It’s a little uncomfortable,” Gabriel offered. This could be considered an understatement but as he was being asked subjective questions it felt like he had some leeway.

“Well, let me know if you’d like a topical application. It’s old school but it’ll work without side effects.”

“Will do,” he said. “Now how about I start breakfast while you get the girls up?”

“If you’re sure?”

“It’s not exactly a third round tie against a Tellarite wrestling champion, I think I can manage to make breakfast.”

“That would be great then. Just,” he paused, frowning slightly, “don’t push it too far. Listen to your body ok?”

“Whatever you say, Doctor,” Gabriel replied, with what he hoped was a believable half smile.

He managed to arrange breakfast, and while he couldn’t bring himself to eat more than a half slice of toast, in amongst the early morning chaos of getting everyone out to work and school he was confident that it hadn’t been noticed. After the mass exodus from the house, Gabriel slumped into a chair at the kitchen table and allowed himself a moment to breathe. He’d be alone for a few hours at least; Hugh was going into Starfleet Medical for a meeting and while he’d offered several times to put it off had eventually been convinced that Gabriel would be quite capable of looking after himself for a few hours given that he would be going home the next day. 

Once he’d gathered himself he set about to righting the detritus of their morning meal, pausing only twice when rolling waves of heat ran through him. By the time he was done, his hair was plastered to his forehead, his clothes stuck to him like a second skin and the friction of the fabric against the rash was becoming almost torturous. The domestic replicator wouldn’t be able to produce another dose of whatever it was that Hugh had given him last night and while the Doctor undoubtedly had a fully stocked medkit Gabriel knew that it was secured. So, pulling his t-shirt off in an attempt to minimise the rubbing against his sensitive skin, he climbed the stairs on wobbly legs. Starting the shower in his ensuite, he took a moment before accepting that the toast wasn’t going to stay put and that he might as well deal with it. Once he’d started gagging though, the fit seemed to last an unreasonably long time in comparison to what little there was to bring up. 

Eventually he managed to strip off the rest of his clothes, and drag himself underneath the lukewarm water. He knew from the controls that it was set at something reasonable but it felt like ice. At one point he drifted enough that he only came back to himself when his forehead hit the wall with an unnerving crack. Sliding down, he ended up sitting under the pouring water blinking furiously and trying to tell if it hurt. Whether Gabriel slept, simply lost focus or more worryingly even to him, passed out entirely he wasn’t sure but he knew it must have been some time later when he blinked awake. What had woken him he wasn’t sure but the distinctive sound of the door and the vibrations it made seemed to snap him back into reality. It was Hugh coming back and that meant that he had to get up and get dressed and at least look like he was fine. He had to, he simply had to. Through some feat of strength he didn’t really understand, Gabriel had made it upright, turned off the water and wrapped himself in a towel before the sound of Hugh calling his name filtered up the stairs. Leaving the bathroom, he called back.

“I’m up here, down in a minute!” It didn’t sound right in his own ears but he hoped it was enough. He pulled on a fresh t-shirt, underwear and jeans ran the instant dryer over his hair and pausing for only a moment to gather himself before he climbed back downstairs.

“How was the meeting?” he asked, stepping into the living room.

“Well! We’re making some real progress…” Hugh began enthusiastically before he looked up and stopped. “Are you ok?”

“Fine,” Gabriel said, trying for casual, “why?”

“Because you look horrific.”

“Is that an official medical term?”

“No it’s just fact,” Hugh said with obvious concern. 

“Well, I’m fine.” It was pure bravado at this point, without the wall behind him he wasn’t even sure he’d be upright and he was almost certain that his cheeks were flushed enough to be visible from Europa Planitia.

“Would you like to try that again?”

“No.” The answer was clipped at least in part because he needed to close his mouth so that he wasn’t sick.

“Well if you’re so sure you must be right,” came the sarcastic reply. “Gabriel?” followed quickly thereafter though and was entirely concern.

“Fine, really,” he said. “I’m going home tomorrow. I’m fine.”

“Gabriel?” 

“No, ‘m fine. No reason to worry. No reason to stay.” The world had gone strangely out of focus he realised, and while someone was touching him, he couldn’t see them. It was okay though, they weren’t a threat. He needed to look after them. Needed to protect them. Needed to convince them that everything was okay even if it wasn’t.


	6. Chapter 6

Gabriel woke up slowly, an oddity in and of itself and blinking found himself looking at a familiar white ceiling. He blinked again aware that something was strange although he couldn’t identify what it was.

“Evening,” came a dry greeting from his left. Rolling his head towards Paul’s voice he tried to focus on the other man’s face in the half light. 

“Wha…” Gabriel tried, running his lips over his teeth before trying again, “what happened?”

“Well,” Paul said, “you made my husband cry which some people would consider remarkable but also means that you’re not really my favourite person right now.”

“I…” Gabriel said, frowning and pushing himself up to lean against the headboard, trying his best to remember how he’d ended up here.

“You, Admiral, have been lying to us,” Paul said leaning forward, his forearms resting on his knees.

“I… no…” And then he remembered. “Not really…” Paul held up a hand.

“You concealed things and then when you were asked, on multiple occasions, you didn’t tell the truth.”

 

“I just…. You’ve been so good. It’s been almost two weeks. I just thought…”

“You didn’t think,” Paul countered firmly, “or at least not with a clear head. I’d like to put it down to the fever but I think we all know better than that.”

“No, I… I just… I’d have been fine at home.”

“Gabe, you concussed yourself in the shower as best we can tell.”

“Did I?” Gabriel asked, before a strange recollection of a sharp pain on his forehead struck and he lifted a hand to his forehead.

“Well, to be frank it’s a best guess. We can’t be sure how long you’ve been hiding things so….”

“I… I didn’t mean… It wasn’t like that.”

“Yes well, I’ll let you explain that to Hugh. You know he doesn’t like deceptions of any sort and he was under the impression you trusted him or he wouldn’t have agreed to be your physician.”

“I do, it.. It wasn’t like that.” 

“Well, that’s not how he sees it. You scared him half to death today.”

“I didn’t mean to.”

“You never do though, do you Gabe?” It was rhetorical question. “This isn’t the time for this conversation but,” Paul said with a sigh, sitting upright. “Gabriel, over the last fifteen years you have become one of our closest friends. We love you.” Gabriel swallowed, tears threatening. “And while I will gladly take a promise from you,” Paul continued, “that you’ll be honest with Hugh. I think we all know that there’s a bigger issue here.” 

“I… I don’t know what you mean…”

“Gabriel, this is an extreme example but for as long as I’ve known you, you’ve never, never shown the care for yourself that you should have.” There was nothing that Gabriel could think to formulate in a response to this. “You need to acknowledge that this is a problem Gabe, that you need help.”

“I don’t… you’ve been so good to me.” 

“And you deserve that care Gabe, and if you can’t see that there are people who want nothing more than to look after you. For you to be well and happy, then that’s something you need help with.” 

“But…” Gabriel was crying. 

“That’s for later,” Paul said, shifting onto the bed, “I’m very cross with you but I’m on strict instructions that I’m to give you a hug.” He leant forward, wrapping Gabriel in his arms as the older man dissolved entirely into sobbs. “You are loved and you are worthy of that love Gabriel. Whatever you think.”

“Sorry,” Gabriel sobbed into the neck where he was cradled, “Sorry, sorry, sorry…”

“Shh,” was all Paul said but he didn’t let go, “shhh I’ve got you.”

How long they stayed like that, Gabriel had no idea. All he knew was that he was held close with someone’s beating heart next to his. When the sound of the door opening intruded on his state of unnatural peace he tensed; 

“Hey…” Hugh’s voice was uncertain. “Tilly’s got the girls.”

“Come on then,” Paul said while Gabriel continued to bury his head in the other man’s shoulder. The mattress next to him moved, dipping as someone climbed on to sit next to him. 

“I’m sorry,” Gabriel said, forcing himself to pull back from the embrace of someone else’s husband. “I’m so sorry,”

“I’m going to ban that word,” Hugh said, not sounding at all like he was joking. “I am beyond angry Gabriel. So incredibly cross.” He’d started out sounding slightly terrifying but by the end Gabriel wasn’t the only one crying. “I just wish you’d felt you could be honest.”

“The pair of you are going to break me,” Paul said, obviously trying to lighten the mood. “I’m going to fetch tea. And whisky.” 

“And ice-cream,” Hugh requested. 

“Could…” Gabriel said, pausing when he realised that he perhaps shouldn’t be asking for anything. 

“Go on,” Hugh encouraged him. 

“Are there any of those biscuits, the plain ones from the other day?”

“I’ll check,” Paul said, planting a kiss on top of Gabriel’s head and then on Hugh’s lips before he left to go downstairs.

“Oh come here,” Hugh said, draping an arm over Gabriel’s shoulders and pulling him close. 

“I…” Gabriel tried. “Actually,” he took a deep breath. “I think I’m too hot. I mean…”

“You are warm,” Hugh said, switching back into the medical professional in an instant. Perhaps unsurprisingly, his tricorder was in easy reach. “Hmm, you are definitely running hot but it’ll be a few hours before i can give you anything else. Let’s ditch this,” he said standing up and pulling back the heavy cover and folding it at the bottom of the bed leaving him only with a sheet and his pyjama bottoms for cover. “I’m just going to get a cool cloth.”

Gabriel sat and waited, quite contentedly. When Hugh returned with the flannel, he let Gabriel wipe his face before rinsing it and folding it so that it could be pressed against the back of his neck. 

“Thank you,” Gabriel said, genuinely enjoying the sensation. 

“You’re welcome. Is there anything else?” 

“No,” Gabriel said automatically and then paused. “You… you ah mentioned something about ah… the rash is…”

“Sure,” Hugh said, “I was… distracted by more immediate issues the last time I gave you a proper exam. Could I…” Gabriel nodded, sitting forward to allow Hugh to see his back. “Do you know how long it’s been this bad?” he asked, gently palpating the skin. 

“I… not really. It… it was uncomfortable before.”

“Ok,” Hugh said, pushing him gently forward so he could see the extent of the irritation. “Well it certainly looks uncomfortable. There’s not a lot I can do given that your viral load is still through the roof… The girls and I… they made an oat bath mix which might be nice but It’ll wait until we’ve got some more fluid into you.”

“Oats?” Gabriel asked.

“Mmm and sea salt. It should sooth the irritation.”

“Is this the porridge thing?” Paul asked returning with a laiden tray. 

“It may be unorthodox these days,” Hugh said, “but it’s a perfectly legitimate treatment. Did you bring the whisky and the ice-cream.”

“I knew you were going to want me to do this. It’s a good job I’m married to you Dear Doctor,” Paul said with a sigh pouring a healthy measure of whisky into a bowl of vanilla ice-cream. “I apologise if this turns your stomach Gabe.”

“As long as you don’t expect me to eat it,” Gabriel replied holding his hands up. 

“Peppermint, Earl Grey or water?” Paul asked him, having passed over the bowl to Hugh. 

“Earl grey please, and maybe some water too.”

“My pleasure Admiral and biscuits too. I’ve kept one back so that we can feed it into the replicator and keep you stocked up if those are what’s appealing.” 

“And he keeps telling me I’m the softy,” Hugh protested.

“You are both terrifying,” Gabriel said, freezing for a moment when he realised what he had said but neither of the other two seemed to think he’d overstepped the mark. 

“Says the infamous, Admiral Gabriel Lorca, Chief Tactician and Commander of the Federation Armoury.”

“That is not my title,” Gabriel protested.

“Ah, but it is what you do!” Paul countered,

“Says the only part-Tardigrade in the Fleet,” Hugh pointed out.

“Oi, I’m the only part-tardigrade anywhere as far as anyone knows. And you, Lazarus should be aware of Glass houses.” Gabriel was enjoying their playful chat but couldn’t entirely ignore the flash of anxiety that had flared at the mention of his role and of Starfleet. 

“Gabriel?” Hugh saying his name re-focussed him and the other man continued. “It’s all under control. Everyone who needs to know, knows that you’ve not been well. That it’ll be awhile before you’re back.”

“You run a tight ship Gabe, your staff know what they’re doing,” Paul added, “besides, you’ve rarely been off before.”

“Even when you should have been,” heckled Hugh, with mouthful of whiskey and ice-cream.

“And you have taken exactly one holiday in the last five years,” Pual continued, “and that was when Katrina dragged you kicking a screaming to Risa.”

“It was awful,” Gabriel recalled, “she confiscated my PADDs.”

“As I understand, she did that because you’d smuggled work away with you,” Hugh pointed out.

“Pedant,” Gabriel said with a pout.

“Drink your tea Admiral,” Paul said shaking his head. Gabriel did what he was told.


	7. Epilogue

Gabriel stepped out of the office building into the sunlight and rubbed briskly at his arm. It wasn’t scratching, it absolutely wasn’t scratching, he wouldn’t do that, wasn’t allowed to do that. The lingering irritation of the skin across his back and arms was the only remaining symptom of his extended bought of illness. That and the fact that he’d had to replicate new uniforms. He’d been aware that he’d lost weight, partly because he wasn’t blind but predominantly because as soon as he’d regained his appetite Hugh had been offering him calorie laden favourites at every opportunity. It wasn’t until he’d dressed for his first day back at work though that he’d realised how bad it was. Still, all things considered he was feeling better than he had in a long time, even after this afternoon’s appointment. Turning the corner, he spotted a familiar figure sitting on a bench in the shade of a tree and waved a greeting.

“Long time no see,” Paul said standing up as he neared.

“I was at yours for dinner last week,” Gabriel pointed out.

“The week before last,” the scientist corrected, “but we got used to having you around.” 

“I have to admit that my apartment does seem unusually quiet since I moved back in.” It had been five weeks since he’d been deemed fit enough to return to his own home and while he had enjoyed his own space it had taken some getting used to. “I did speak to your delightful husband three days ago when we arranged that I was going to take you all out for dinner this evening. I haven’t been a stranger.”

“You have not, and dinner is why I’m here.” Gabriel frowned, not sure where this was going. “I’ve been sent to check that you still think it’s a good idea.”

“I have been eating normally again for weeks now…”

“After this afternoon though,” Paul gestured to the innocuous office building behind them with a tilt of his head. 

“Oh, did Hugh think that I was going to be a wreck?” While the assumption that a session with his counsellor would have left him unfit for company could have been insulting, the first few had certainly rattled him more than he had expected. Today though, the better term for the experience might be cathartic. Gabriel had always enjoyed having an understanding of the bigger picture, the strategic view, and while what he was learning about himself was unsettling in many ways, the perspective on it he was gaining was more reassuring. 

“Well he wasn’t certain that you’d be up for the _who-what-why-where-when _show.”__

__“Your daughters have enquiring minds, they’re a tribute to you.”_ _

__“I don’t suppose you’d be interested in adopting them? They’d certainly liven up your apartment.”_ _

__“Can you imagine?” Gabriel said with a laugh, “But I will take them to dinner with you if you’re happy that I’ll be fit company.”_ _

__“You’d be welcome however you were,” Paul said pointedly._ _

__“I know,” Gabriel held up his hands, “but really I’ve been looking forward to it.”_ _

__“Well in that case,” Paul said with a smile, “Hugh’s got them at the park. Though I suspect Daisy’ll have her nose that book Michael gave her.”_ _

__They walked through the late afternoon sun talking of friends and acquaintances until the rounded the corner and came upon the playpark._ _

__“Papa! Cap’in!” Jess yelled at the top of her voice when she spotted them, waving from the top of a climbing frame. “Catch me Cap’in!” she instructed hurling herself off her perch almost before Gabriel had a chance to step forward and hault her descent._ _

__“Oooft,” he said, his old back injury twinging at the unexpected load._ _

__“Jessica!” Paul scolded._ _

__“Are you ok?” Hugh asked, joining them at a jog from the bench where he’d been sitting with Daisy._ _

__“I’m fine!” Jess declared from where she was now clinging limpet like around Gabriel._ _

__“I wasn’t talking to you,” he father said with a frown._ _

__“I’m fine too,” Gabriel said._ _

__“Your back?”_ _

__“FIne,” he said and then mindful of all of the lessons he was supposed to be learning, “well maybe not fine but no serious damage done.”_ _

__“Quite a lot of you is a bit broken isn’t it?” Jess said, leaning back to look at him seriously._ _

__“I suppose it is,” he said with a chuckle, “and by the time you reach my advanced age I’m sure you’ll have picked up one or two broken bits too.”_ _

__“It’ll not take as long as that if you insist on throwing yourself off things and just assume that someone will catch you.”_ _

__“But Cap’in was here, he wasn’t going to let me fall!” Her arms tightened around him as though she felt she was defending his honour._ _

__“Well, I’ll always try but sometimes it’s a good idea to give me a bit more warning. Ok?”_ _

__“Sorry Cap’in,” she said placing a wet kiss on his cheek before wriggling and sliding down to the ground._ _

__“I sometimes wonder if they’re out to kill you,” Hugh said with a sigh._ _

__“I’m sure there’s something deeply philosophical to be said about the younger generation killing us all, but I’m damned if I can think what it is.” Gabe said, stretching out his abused spine as the started walking across to where the girls were now in deep discussion._ _

__“Are you sure you’re alright?”_ _

__“Like I said, no serious damage. It’s good to see you by the way,” he said with a smile._ _

__“You too,” Hugh said, leaning in to brush a kiss against his cheek. “You’re looking well. Too thin still, but well.”_ _

__“I’m feeling well, and I’ll happily work on the other once you lot have decided where you’d like to go for food.”_ _

__“Can we have pizza?” Daisy asked as they approached._ _

__“If that’s what you’d like, then Pizza it will be.”_ _

__“And ice-cream?” Jess asked._ _

__“Only if you eat something green,” Paul countered._ _

__“But yes, if you eat your vegetables you can have ice-cream,” Gabriel promised with a wink._ _

__“Well then,” Hugh said, “lead on Admiral.”_ _

__They walked through the park, Jess holding his hand while Daisy told him all about the book that Aunty Michael had given her, Paul and Hugh tagging along behind. It wasn’t perfect, the old doubts and anxieties hadn’t vanished miraculously after a couple of therapy sessions, but Gabriel was able, today at least, to see them for what they were. Perspective was everything after all._ _

__“Captain?” Daisy asked him drawing him back out of his introspection, “will you teach me how to fire a phaser?”_ _

__“Only when your parents say it’s ok,” he replied automatically, smiling at the sounds that came from behind them. Yes, Gabriel thought, today was a good day._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do love my angst (and drawing it out) but I thought it was important to show a little follow through on the question of Gabriel getting some help. Also to acknowledge that just because he's taken some steps doesn't mean a miracle cure, even in the 24th C.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you've enjoyed and I can't wait to hear your thoughts about it!
> 
> Lx
> 
> @LHA_again


End file.
